My nipple is on Facebook.
the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Due to our sore throats we are now doing bong hits with cranberry juice to sooth it.
Currently flirting with a 57 year old. Why do i do this
She told me she gets scared easily and that I had to protect her. Then I made a condom joke that ended up making her cry... All bad dude
Do me a favor? If you get with him, please lick his abs. Someone has too they're just too beautiful not to.
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
I tripped over a vacuum cleaner and fell into a beer pyramid
2012 needs to end already. I've exceeded my quota for People Who Have Accidentally Seen My Tits.
how many ponies have to be on my pajama pants to convince him im gay?
i think we need a new approach.
Drunk dialed the ex last nigh; turns out I miss dialed. The stranger who answered played along and apologized for sleeping with my cousin. She sent me a txt this morning to let me know.
Kindest stranger ever. Marry that girl.
Nothing says "happy birthday" like a negative pregnancy test
I just group texted a dick pic. Wonder who'll respond back first. Ashley Stacey or my stepmom
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
I just landed at Logan and some guy threw up in the baggage carousel. Boston never really changes
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