So how was he last night?
Five-minute foot-long.
I just ate a drumstick out of the garbage. I need a life coach.
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
i'm pleased to announce i can now open a bottle of wine with my shoe if called upon to do so.
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
I told her I had the flu when in reality I did way too many drugs last night, haven't slept and don't want to sit through a 3 hour buisness meeting trying to figure out which voices are real and which are in my head
We haven't said piping hot jizz in awhile... that needs to come back into our conversations
It was awkward at first he now knows I fucked his little brother, they were both there. then the tequila kicked in and everything was fine.
You definitely in your drunken state were really concerned you would forget to buy milk today
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
Dude, that was like bongs ago.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
I just wish he'd leave so I can vomit in peace.
I climbed out of the shower to him sitting on the floor trimming his pubes with nail clippers, we both just started laughing at how drunk we were
No way hahaha I have zero intention of adding him I wanna just join in on a three some but mostly just be there for moral support and snacks
Randomize
