officially spring now- first drug bust of the season across the street.
I never once brought up his unibrow when he was insulting me. That's class.
I just shaved my vag with a razor my dad left when he was here a few months ago. Too hungover to think about the Freudian connotations
I can only take thier stupid "I think beauty school is for me" routine so long until I have to bitch slap them with some knowledge
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
YOU CAN'T JUST DO COKE AND THEN CALM DOWN
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
I peppersprayed myself last night. Sigh.
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
Hey I was just wondering if you could go look for my teeth?
It's sad that I'm more proud of my Twitter account then my resume
I'm kinda sad I'm leaving the bank. I never got to have rough sex in the vault.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I have a vagina. So i automatically win.
Good news!! I can adult!! 😂 turning down the strip club on a weeknight has become my crowning achievement ðŸ˜ðŸ˜‚
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