Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
my dad brought home flowers.. so i started talking to them
Now I know how you felt every time you had to listen to me have sex with a girl... mildly disguested yet marginally proud.
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
Its official. 'Jingle Bell Rock' gives me a boner. Thank you Lindsay Lohan & Rachel McAdams.
Yo I tried to get u stoned for ur dreams by blowing weed smoke in ur face while u slept. Ur welcome.
Buying Plan B right after a lecture on feminism. It's nice to know who I can thank for that right.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Don't blame me. I told you I didn't know if I had a key to those hancuffs.
EW HE JUST SNAPPED ME A NUDE BUT HE CENSORED HIS DICK BY COLORING IT I DID NOT ASK FOR THIS
so i ran into nick. i may be more gay than anticipated
You know its an epic night when omar the garbage man gives you a ride home at 6 in the morning.
I want to strut with the confidence of a pigeon.
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
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