so this rather large man keeps buying us drinks.......then he licked my face....i dont really care though because the drinks are good. Is this bad?
With sake I got over my irrational fear of seafood. Now I just fear sake.
I just sat in the Taco Bell drive-thru waiting for a trash can to take my order. Yes, that high.
You have no idea how much I'm praying for my moms side of the family's infertility right now
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
never underestimate the power of walking into a bar alone in uv cat makeup.. took home a seven foot man
What's more awkward than your little brother in law screaming, "I SAW YOUR TITTIES" at the breakfast table?
His step dad chiming in on the jokes.
I planned on emotionally scarring him for life this weekend. DAMN YOU PERIOD!
i refuse to hook up with a girl that looks like drew carey.
It's called the dick transitive property. It states if you touch a person whilst they touch a dick, you are also touching said dick.
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
like i got into his car and the beatles were playing. this kid is def getting his dick sucked
The amount of dicks I have seen in the last hour is more than I have seen in my whole life.
Randomize
