this girl is running around outside screaming, it's creaming on me! it's creaming on me. I totally have to find my video camera
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
i want to cheat with him just to show his girlfriend what a terrible person he is.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
If you're trying to piece together your night, I can tell you where those tassels came from.
Beer lympzucs are ki7lling me
Her inability to understand the word "moderation" is the achille's heel of an otherwise perfect human
So the bitch asked me if I wanted the name brand or the generic contraceptive. Does it look like I want to be generically pregnant?
There's no way I'm ready for marriage. I have too many pics of other guys' junk on my phone for an eternal commitment right now.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
Well, if it gives you any indication, when I got there, there was already some dude passed out naked in the treehouse.
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
"hahahaha" is not a sufficient reply when I tell you my mother laughed at a joke about me giving blowjobs.
THERE ARE LEGITLY 4 SEPARATE BITE MARKS ON MY DICK. WHAT. THE. FUCK.
Legitimately*
Go fuck yourself
Because of you I can never eat chicken nuggets without thinking of you fucking him. I hope youre happy. I really do.
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