so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
2 v-cards in one night. impossible is nothing.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
CANT TOUCH THIS JUST CAME ON MY IPOD. LOVE STEVE JOBS
you were making out with a guy that looked like Fat Albert, I kicked you in the vagina but you didn't stop
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I just screamed IM THE CHUPACABRA and jumped on his dick. I need to evaluate my life choices.
Today, my weed came in a pokéball. I officially love my dealer.
If drinking had a "new high score" I think I hit it this weekend.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
I will 100% jerk off using my own tears as lube before I'd ever bang a 4.
Okay penises are actually pretty exciting. The people attached to them are an entirely different story
i like that he makes me laugh. those are like my two favorite things. laughing and fucking.
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
Randomize
