I'm going to skip that pointless convo with Mark, stick with the "we're talking" status, and bone barely legal, borderline gay, preppy guys on the DL.
it glows. i had to have it.
Just made nachos out of string cheese and sunchips and laying in my bed watching babay einstion..get on my level
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
I made out with a bride-to-be last night at the bar. Jesus died for our sins right?
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
I may or may not have traded sexual favors for Disney on Ice tickets.
Is it bad that i wanna bang this girl ONLY because she looks like my cousin?
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
YOU BETTER NOT BE SHAVING YOUR LEGS RIGHT NOW IM TRYING TO HELP YOU
So much Jack, so little girl.
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Not my fault people bought me shots. waving a shot in my face is like waving a cock in yours
am drunk, naked, and blow drying cat. need adult supervision
Just had an emotional break through with the dog. That high.
Randomize
