this is hardly the first time i've been told i'm dressed "too suggestively" for 7 in the morning.
I woke up with a new Tiffanys necklace on. I'm such a classy drunk.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
She suggested that I come visit her in Europe and hook up with the heteroflexible Korean who sits next to her in class. Polylove is the best love.
So aparently telling your roommate you're going to spoon them so hard in the public place of their employment is inappropriate
Carrying your underwear around in your purse on Sunday morning is its own religious experience
...I think i just fell in love with a random undergrad at first glance. He was the awkward young adult version of captain hook. Dear god i need to get off this campus.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
Right. Will do. I'll call you if I need a ride. (that is a double meaning, go with it.)
Woke up naked on your sister's mattress lying next to a single slice of bread.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
Just bumped into my ex. Blowing a dude in the ladies' room at Disney World. I guess it really was her not me.
Ya apperently its not "appropriate" to fuck in the school auditorium
Is it weird that sometimes I like to have sex for the health benefits and workout more than the pleasure
Did you wake up next to Karina?
So that's her name
Randomize
