Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
It was also my first failed attempt at shower sex.
btw im making up a story about these stitches..... i think a hockey stick to the face sounds better then i fell up the stairs
You. Me. A bottle of Vodka. The wilderness.
We drove around last night shotting fireworks out the window while they had sex in the back of his car
this st patricks day sucks
ill send jameson via bank tube 150+ miles
I've noticed we have slowly begun to phase the "B" out of our Bromance.
Fuck romance. Just shaved my nipples in the shower because I felt like it. That's the life I'm about.
There's "red head", "preppy white girl" and "the two Asians I dated and now everyone thinks I like Asians"
Your dating history is like the united colors of Benetton
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Let's just say that in a last ditch effort to avoid getting arrested I said to the cop "but I'm not even that drunk" and he proceeded to point out (in front of a crowd) that I had "fucking pissed my pants"
there's a 50/50 chance the night will end in alcohol-induced rituals of satanic nature
also, I think I lit my hair on fire when I got home..
Oh my fucking god!! There is a barefoot white guy with a fucking ninja sword in the middle of the street next to the pride gas station swinging his sword at peoples cars!! He almost got me. 3 people swerved off the road and stopped. I told a cop.
Now all my porn is stored in my parents’ basement. It’s like a part of my soul is boxed up
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