Di me a solid and hit me with your car.
I told her I would melt her with my mustache. Needless to say, he pants were soon off.
u know u need to get laid when watching mike wazowskis gf from monsters inc makes u horny
So the girl I hooked up with last night pretended to be from Comcast when my girlfriend stopped by this morning. She even made a fake appointment to check her internet. Best hookup ever.
so when he was about to cum, he screamed his mother's name and continued to pray for forgiveness. wtf
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
I just realized that two weekends in a row we ended up in a bathroom with two different boys asking us for a threesome. does this happen to everyone?
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
I just dropped my cookie in my glass of milk and looked at it for ten minutes. Thanks for telling me you made weed cookies.
We made a trail of cheez balls so we knew how to get back to te apartment.
It was a two-sided wall so part of my body ended up in someone elses condo.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
You know what, I don't care that I got too drunk and didn't make it into the boat party. If I had, I probably wouldn't have peed on you later while we soundly slept. I feel you need that in a best friendship.
Do you think it's illegal to drive without your pants on?
I just remembered that I insisted everyone watch porn together last night.
Randomize
