i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
So, when he came he screamed MORTAL KOMBAT!!!! at the top of his lungs and all of his roomates yelled back FINISH HER!!!!.....yeah kinda akward
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
So I have the hangover from hell, spent all night puking, and there's a septic tank truck parked outside the house literally pumping shit. You win God.
scarred for life. way too high and witnessed some chick give a dude head on the dance floor
Where the hell did all of these gingers come from? It's like they crawled out of their shame-caves for st Patrick's day.
Y'all best leave this "I can only have a couple drinks" shit at the door. U don't drive to Yukon to have a shot. I'm getting u fuckers drunk.
i'm not saying you're gay. i'm just saying all my gay friends think you have a great ass.
He talked for 3 hours straight on how his dad is a dentist how fuck do you think my night was
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
I touched the butt once. 'Twas an experience with the greatness of legend. So I touched it once more.
It's like I'm getting a welcome home parade with sex!
It was a recodring of you having sex ! It was like an ape and a dying mongoose at a buffet Xoxoxo
I just crop dusted the hot FedEx guy delivering my business cards...then asked him "Was that you?" How the fuck am I allowed to be an adult?
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