you made your own hammock out of a towel and duct tape.
The "puke-towel" started to grow something...
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
We left around 4am, just after you laid down on your front lawn to take a piss. After 15 mins I said "dude are you still peeing?" you replied "Nope, just laying here with my dick out."
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
First and foremost she's my friend, but she's also a mistake I make when I'm drunk
the intervention consisted of my aunt taking me to chuck-e-cheezs and telling me that this was my future - either as a mom or as a waitress - unless i stopped fucking around.
did she buy you pizza?
New carpet is nice. I'm making carpet angels. Like a fresh snowfall.
No it's ok I've been talking to the girl at the Chinese restaurant about your dick for the last 20 minutes. I haven't mentioned your name but she thinks she knows you.
Please tell me that I didn't call you to say I was swimming in outter space
It's my birthday, if I want to stay home, get stoned and watch the gameshow network, that's what I'm going to do.
I feel you. I woke up butt naked on top of my sheets with a plate of cheese next to my bed...
why do guys have to express their feelings when they know your seeing someone else ? I fucked him anyways to make him feel better , and to know what he's missing.
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
