Helping a hot freshman girl move in = 2 hours of my life One bottle of cheap vodkas = $10 Watching her do the walk a shame on her first morning away from home = Priceless
i cant finish this easy-mac because i need it for a chaser.
Just saw Youth in Revolt. There are only so many times Michael Cera can lose his virginity.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
I couldn't be mad. She was crying because she fell bare ass into the rose bush trying to pee. So I held her up mid-stream and she peed on my feet. No big
She stopped mid hookup to ask me if we'd be done before Taco Bell closed.
If you invite me to a bar tonight my liver will kick you in the testicles
Thats not what we're looking for. I want this kid to suck a lolly pop out of a stripper's snatch.
I dont care how drunk you were. Making a bet with MY husband at MY wedding that you could seal the deal before he could is ALWAYS inappropriate!
im actually trying to see how many sex dolls we need for our raft so we can stay buoyant while we attack kayakers
At least I will not still be rolling when I pick up this animal. Thats a good development in five years
So I just crossed my legs and I was like what is this lump on my leg? Oooh its my underwear from last time I wore these jeans...
I just bought a 1/4 oz of pot from a coworker who's old enough to be my grandfather...I'm never leaving Portland.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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