Im so sleepy and hes snoring super loud! i just wanna suffocate him, sleep, and deal with the body when I wake up
im in a room full of women tattooing each others tits. i hope i remember this tomorrow
her dad's the mattress king, she's genetically engineered to be good in bed
I am the Bobby Fisher of drunk asss puking
this is going to sound stupid but when I was drunk and thought I was a stripper where I did toss my pants?
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
oh yea it is. i was not expecting to look at a snowbank and just see flying mushrooms
Whatevss it will be funn .. Hopefully no one projectile vomits on the wall again.. Its kinda become a tradition though
Is it malicious or apart of the healing process if I wipe my ass with his toothbrush?
The fact that you're allowing Santa to dry hump your ass is sort of a dealbreaker
Is he the circus guy or the bi-curious street preacher?
i still can't believe he got laid by going to the bar and handing out "cuddle buddy" application forms
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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