Just had to open a tuna can with a spoon. Gave me a sense of hunting for my own food.
she smelled like a LAN party
did i really try to jack off an athens police horse last night? please tell me youre kidding..
i was gonna tell him a really embarassing story about you, but then i remembered im in all of them
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
and then we had to stop you from trying to pour shots through your nose with the neti pot.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
Whether ya want it or not, it's gonna happen. Assimilate to the gay
We were ushered out of Medieval Times by a squire for making out in the torture chamber. Children were present.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
I expect you will be there for a drunken 3way with my husband again this new year.
ELLEHCIM
NYRMAK
DRAHCIR
WHAT??
Is it disrespectful or patriotic to pole dance on an american flag pole?
Well, he pretended he was climbing me like he was a monkey and I was a tree during sex.
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