Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
I think I am the only girl in the world who would be proud of these scars from rug burn.
Knitting and drinking wine. Forget my 21st birthday, might as well just skip to my 60th
It's like I'm in a vicious cycle of noncommittal penis.
Dwarf fight at five guys. Today was a good day.
He said in a slur "I go so hard, even when I..." and cut himself off by projectile vomiting all over the ice luge.
Pretty sure the girl next to me in Chipotle just came out to her mom.
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
Nothing says "forever alone" like receiving a friendship bracelet from your parents.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
leads to pukin, then cryin, then 24hr masturbatin binge, then cryin again and finally a combination of all 3
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
poll: am I friendzoned if he just called me brochacha? on one hand, he called me bro, but on the other, he used the a to make it feminine.
I kept my extra Molly pill in my wallet in the change part, that's also where I keep my body jewelry while I'm working. The nose ring punctured the pill essentially coating itself in MDMA. My nose ring is back in my nose. This could be entertaining
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