Raging hang over. 6AM finish. Shat on a bag of trash in an alley. D L that last bit.
bitch asked me if i cared if she kept her snuggie on while we had sex
You told him how lucky he was to be an elephant and kept trying to grab his "trunk"
I was on my way at Dorito Smoothie
I am dressing up to go buy weed. I need to get out more.
honestly, i just want you to have sex with him too so that you can fully understand my appreciation of his dick as well.
How was the rest of your night?
A little fuzzy and a lot naked.
Should I have a moral quandary about Skyping topless with him while his son slept in the other room?
Nothing says happy gameday like waking up in only an ACC Championship shirt in the qb's bed with a different football player
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I think I just legit sprained my wrist from holding myself up while giving a blow J. God dammit come already
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
I woke up to a stripper (who added me on Facebook) messaging me reminding me to cancel my card if I can't find it
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
Do not tell me I cant do drunk math ever again, AND I made a creative way of telling him I want him to fuck me.
Randomize
