Every good night starts with white castle burgers and shots in the parking lot.
and then she yelled "im going to fuck the next guy that walks by me". so ya thats how i lost my virginity
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
we were running to make last call and you stopped me and said very seriously "if i fall, go on without me. just make sure theres a beer in my hand when you go"
I jumped out of a moving car going sixty into my driveway because I had to shit so bad. It is not a good day today.
He just said "I know you want my cock" and I said nah. I want food bro
i stood outside in the bushes for thirty minutes. Do you know how many drunk guys pee in bushes at 2 am?
All I want to do is lay in my bed and eat hotdogs
For someone I see at the bar by herself all the time... I should have know she had a tazer.
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
No problem...what are friends for if they can't rub eachothers genitals.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Highlight of the day: got a bunch of drunks to sing baby shark.
Randomize
