is sleeping with your Political Science professor Politically incorrect?
Was he helping you 'cram' for your final, or just giving an oral exam?
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
Ask him about the girl he took home Saturday night. I swear she voted for Kennedy.
Apparently, I woke him up at 4AM, and yelled "you're mad because we don't have sex," while grabbing his dick. Then immediately fell back asleep, dick in hand.
judging by her collection of mens sweaters, shes fucked the entire lands end catalog.
I'm pretty sure I swallowed a whole condom
Okay. So my choices are the sleeping Guy who looks about twelve and a man that looks like he was the original sandman. Im gonna need a beer for this......
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I've justified worse with less. I had sex with your brother because he was wearing a nice sweater
I feel you. We can get adjoining rooms. It'll be like Disney world, but with drugs and ivs instead of roller coasters and Mickey Mouse.
Which is way cooler
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I just baby talked my cat. While getting ready for bed... Before 10 on a Friday. I'm officially a cat lady.
He peed my bed and tried to say it was just the wine. The red wine. On white sheets. He's not a good liar.
Why the fuck is there raw bacon in my bra. I don't even have a stove.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
