i was so high that i was eating crumbs of my bed only to realize they were fuzz thingies. fml.
What I'm saying is Afghanistan is America's sexually contracted disease.
She gave him HEAD floating down the river in a tube as big a a tire. I just don't know how to compete with that sort of level of slut.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
I have to have sex with him again. I feel like I need to train him so no other girl experiences that bad of sex.
We're pretty much just dating until one of our ex's wants us back
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
We're shaving superhero symbols into our pubes. I call dibs on Batman.
There is no sno cone on earth better than alone naked time. Side note: text when you all are headed home.
Things I have learnt this week: bubble mix is toxic. Extremely toxic.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I just had a drunk lesbian experience.... How do I break it to my boyfriend??
My life has hit a new low, I just licked MDMA of someone's bed.
No no no, work drunk and day drunk are totally different. I got drunk with a client and made a huge sale at 1pm. You are still in your PJs and jacking off.
So chicken strips and confidence do not you make you sober.
Randomize
