my boobs are a 3G dead zone. as soon as i take my phone out of my bra, it has a signal again.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
i took a field sobriety test yesterday. a crowd gathered, watched me pass it and applauded. then the cops arrested me because i took a bow and fell over.
For those pictures, I will suffer this headache.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
ill be fine wheb you get back. I'm gunna do real world things like washing the dishes. having to perform serious tasks brings you down.
I've made a list of places I want to have sex this summer. #1: Reptile House at the zoo.
Her dog trainer Fuck buddy is over here again. She sounds like a squeaky toy and he talks to her like he talks to the dog. I CAN HEAR EVERYTHING!!!
I left my coke in the bird nest in the bathroom stall last night but I found it nest and all in my purse I love morning suprises
I'm buying groceries with adderoll. I hope I'm never this broke again.
Like we just had a bunch of sex and then he threaded my eyebrows in bed lol. It was amazing
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
I have never lost more friends than while playing Uno drunk.
We were 6 minutes into the movie before we realized the whole movie was spoken in Italian. That level of stupidly-ripped
Is it bad that I'm not at all bothered by the fact that to some people I'm simply known as the girl that takes her shirt off?
Randomize
