"it" just moved
and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
I was just tapping my foot in the bathroom at Penn Station just PRAYING for anonymous sex. You know how that goes.
I woke up with a crunchy, pink Pepto streak through my hair, no recollection of the last 6 hours of my night and the feeling that all the hotel's staff knew me on a first name basis.
Just made nicotine water. Ithink i'm having a heart attack.
Just realized ive been sitting through all of lab with a condom in my bra.
yay hump day
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
I just try to date guys based on what I need like I am trying to find an electrician now
You gays are geniuses
His mom walking in on us having sex was probably the highlight of the night
Idk what I'm more afraid of...checking my bank account or my STD results.
Took an adderall for the first time in a few weeks. Spent 45 minutes peeling an orange TO PERFECTION.
Just googled myself and a bunch of boob shots of me came up. Apparently my phone automatically uploaded them to my google plus.
Please google me ASAP and ensure I corrected this...
it was awkward when he was taking off my clothes and i had to help him undo my fanny pack
how the FUCK did i spend 25 dollars at 50 cent beer night?
When I planned out my evening, "co-author lesbian vampire erotica" was not anywhere on my list of expected activities.
Me neither, but hey, this is where we've ended up. Let's embrace the moment.
Randomize
