I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
Dude it was a mini horse. It obviously only eats mini things.
I'm cheerleading for traffic. people are staring. Why am i the only high person on the way to class?
I was only out of town for 1 week. His cell records show he texted 63 ex-gfs and hookups while I was gone. And 10 condoms are missing.
Okay hun. Well my neighbors haven't called the cops yet so I think we're good. No more burning in the yard.
You should have seen the pharmacists face when I paid for my inhaler refill and a box of condoms.
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
What did he say?
NOTHING. GODDAMN HIM AND HIS MAGICAL PENIS!
I'll only sleep there if we can bone on your balcony.
This is gonna be the kind of weekend where if it involves putting on pants, it ain't happening.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
Even though I'm gonna be a felon I'm having fun for time being.
He just chose domino's over sex. ARE YOU KIDDING ME?
May I make reservations with your penis for this evening?
She started crying, nearly punched a guy, started smoking multiple cigarets backwards and broke the slide on her bong. Why do I always end up babysitting the crazy ones?
Randomize
