do you believe in love at first sight?
awwwwww =)
yea.. so can i have your sisters number? thanks!
is it sad that i can masturbate and get my big O just from thinking about a Tiffany engagement ring?
she needs to go suck a dildo, because she isn't worth a dick
I'm in my boyfriends bathroom and I shit so bad, there was no toilet paper but his mom's clothes were on the floor and I wiped my butt on her underwear... now it looks like she sharted
mom and dad sent me an easter basket full of beer pong supplies again.
hey, this is the drunk ass freshman from last night. thanks alot for helping me out last night, i'd probably be on some lawn if it wasn't for you guys! and my mom says thanks for talking to her
You had salsa out and brought a banana on a plate to bed
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
He hasn't texted me back since last week when we sexted. I think telling him I wanted to choke him with chains was a bit much for our first time.
In other news I may have fractured my masturbating arm
At least it wasn't your drinking arm
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Theyll love you, its bunch of older ladies who drink whisky and sours and talk about the sex seans in Game of Throwns
She posted a pic of her bf on ig wishing him a happy bday at midnight. She then proceeded to have sex with me. Who is the bday boy again?
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
there is puke in my bra ... again
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