yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
why does being broke make me substitute dinner for vodka, Xanax, and two day old cupcakes? I don't like being fat, jittery and drunk.
so I got guilt tripped into giving her a new years kiss, and she proceeded to try and eat my face while mounting me. when you give a mouse a cookie...
how should i feel about a person who brings a box of eggo waffles on the plane as a carry on?
im so sorry the vomit froze your passenger door shut... you should have stopped.
I'm laying here in fetal position. I feel like a traffic cone
ive cried into many a lonely burritos..
I want him to rummage through my vagina. with unwashed hands.
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
It's hard to be judgmental of others when you are wearing silver pleather.
Here's the thing, you got road head in two different cars tonight. You feel lucky yet?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
He just walked in the house and decided to wake everyone up by yelling "I SHIT MYSELF!" We all thought he was joking....we were all wrong.
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
Randomize
