No, drunk sperm still make babies.
I'm drinking rum and coke straight from the 2 liter bottle.
Can I have my ID back now or are you using it to crossdress again?
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
I actually enjoy jerking off to her facebook more than I enjoy actually fucking her. Just something with our generation
I think my cats understand what porn is. And it's all my fault.
Apparently I've been blackout drunk doing abstract algebra on the floor
I passed out drunk and Jane had created a picnic on my chest. I had chips and a hamburger laid out on my boobs. The only reason I woke up is she was trying to feed me too.
the only thing you and i have in common is the we like weed and looking at my naked body.
We just took back to back grav bong hits and are playing battleship. She guessed Z - 12 so weve switched board games.
i knew it was love when she pulled a beer out from between her boobs and offered it to me
The fake number she gave me was for Pappa John's. Now I have a large pepperoni on the way.
And what in gods fuck were you drinking. It tasted like windex with a mixture of juce
I hate when I'm sexting and I make a typo.
You just killed the sext mood.
The highlight of my week is I found some hetero porn I didn't completely hate. Branching out.
Randomize
