He muttered something about having just washed he sheets, then demanded I give him all my quarters.
I just high-fived this girl after she swallowed.
why is there a picture of someone wearing Tevas with socks taped on the wall?
It's sad how good I am at giving people diseases
he asked me to put his condom on because he couldn't see without his glasses
she said they gang banged her to "who let the dogs out." the dude left of the middle barked along. sounds like a good time.
I'm still in shock that he came by my house for five minutes dropped off a Teddy bear and went to the strip club on valentines day
Laying on my kitchen floor and the lights just got brighter... I just died or there was a power surge. Based on the amount of booze I drink both are possible.
downside - we got stuck at the intersection before the santa clause parade started and had to wait for it to end. upside - i got frontrow seats and a blow job to the santa clause parade.
I know this is super early in advance but can I borrow your horse mask on 4/20
Video footage says last night I reincarnated as stripper Shania Twain... Man, I feel like a (slutty) woman.
So I've decided that blue balls for lesbians is rainbow balls and the struggle is real
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
remind me again why we thought drinking hungarian moonshine was a good idea
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