people and things i regret. that's what i want to do tonight.
I wonder if she has a lisp when she orgasms...
I just ran from Santa Claus in Kroger
It's like the Sean Connery of vaginas. You don't mess with it.
the way i see it, im about one adderall binge away from graduating
hey girl hope you're alright, you hit that tree really hard. have a good night.
You can't have your penis and eat it, too.
I am undressing in in n out. They migit ca5l security. Are you provn d6 me?
OH MY GOD. SO PROUD.
Well obviously when I get drunk my intelligence level surpasses yours and that's why you can't understand me.
Sex should always be followed by Chinese food in bed.
You know it was a good night when you're lying on the couch in your pjs at 4pm having a pitcher of ice water for breakfast.
We turned a watering can into a margarita bong.
So this bar tattoo not looking that great now
How do I say "I still wanna hook up w you but I don't wanna see your penis via text ever again" through a snapchat
Bro, I was just laying in bed with this girl and her boyfriend came an woke me up
Randomize
