He's getting better. i'm using GuitarHero to teach him how to finger me. My clit = the red tab.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
stop calling my apartment porn island.
i forgot how awkward it is to meet new people sober
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
I'm out of vodka and money. My semester is officially over. The way I see it, my finals are just forms I need to fill out in order to leave campus.
I've crashed the car, it's a write off. The police are here and I'm dressesd as a crayon.
He made me hold his dick and say "I solemnly swear that I'm up to no good"
Just living on dreams and a bed of used condoms
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I have decided that today will be all about indulgence and hedonism.
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
Margaritas just taste better when they're bigger than your head
Sex in your truck helped me start regaining feeling in my jaw. Thanks!
Hey, is this going to be a real date, or am I just meeting you at a hotel to have sex in the bathroom? Given our history, I think it's a fair question.
Randomize
