It was kinda bitchy last night when i brought up my pregnancy scare and you said "shotty playing with it"
our health teacher's ringtone is Bad Romance and she has a tramp stamp. i will not skip this class, ever.
He was trying to put his hand up my shirt but I remembered the coke was stashed in my bra so I moved his hand to my pants
The only thing worse than cracking my rib on a slip and slide was having the doctors laugh when they found out in my medical history that I did this exact same thing last summer.
Were playing beruit winners pelt losers with eggs
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
Ummmmm okay let's be incredibly straightforward. Hi there. My bed's at half capacity this evening. How'd you like to fill it up?
This is what happens when wu tang raised you
I just handed a girl a slice of pizza and she handed me her number. Is this how Vegas hookups normally begin?
in the midst of studying i picked up my capsule full of untouched weed, popped it open, and whispered "soon" into it. midterms man
I have a terrible feeling that I made out with a fraternity last night
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
I was not drunk enough for that final.
That has got to be a joke. No human eats that much grass and lives to tell the tale.
Randomize
