Fuck appropriateness.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
my little brother just told me that I should start chasing my vodka with slim fast. genious.
Hey, don't feel sorry for me, the two girls in front of me just ordered 18 dollars worth of taco bell. Life could be worse.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Close your eyes and stop texting and think about puppies. You'll be fine.
Make me a sandwich
The day you make me feel like my detachable showerhead does I'll make you a sandwich.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
Just got back from the tanning beds. I'm a lobster. I fear for the safety of my nipples falling off.
So that groomsmen was naked under his kilt. Also I just had sex in the elevator. And yes, those two updates are definitely related.
bought even stevens on dvd and enough weed and pizza bagels to last us a week.. ready to get snowed in?
holy shit the woman im hooking up with is closer to my moms age than my own
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
But lunch with my dad really just means an hour and a half of him telling me how he's disappointed and how he knows I'm on drugs
dont you DARE use my tequila influenced words against me
Randomize
