I dont get it-she has sex with me but wont be my facebook friend?
Get everyone into the kitchen. I need you all to witness me friend-zoning him. Just in case.
We learned a lot about one another. I showed him around the town I grew up in and he informed me that he has had a threesome and killed a cat
oh dear god, that would be like watching to female walruses mate. We need to stop going to that lesbian bar...
I don't think she can come out, she went too hard in the Intro to Theater Drinking Game at 2:30
Random Survey Question: If things start getting serious with this cop, do I have to stop doing coke?
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
The trick will be getting hammered before we get to the first bar
Challenge accepted
There is a BIG difference between doing coke and getting peed on and getting peed on FOR coke
Is she okay?
She may want to issue revenge punches, but medically fine.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I settled on "Merry Christmas! Btw you may have chlamydia". I thought a nice holiday greeting would soften the blow
Yeah well, last time I said I wasn't having a big night I was being strangled in somebody's spare bed
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Well you went to the bar with your crutches last night & everyone including the DJ started chanting "put your crutches in the air"
Randomize
