there is a polo shirt epidemic at this bar. also, im pretty sure i just saw the grown-up coppertone baby
My third nipple is alarmingly under-appreciated.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
As a matter of principle, I waited until noon to start the drinking binge.
i don't know. but im upstairs in the closet with a burger i found in their fridge
hr gave me pretxwk salad and a doubke shot of grey goose. i approve! tou guys are a beautidil couple.
We should start a Help That Bitch Out Fund and split the donations evenly between you two.
I found him in his pink and white boxer out side the dorm hall and the only thing he said was "it wouldn't let me in"
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
then a garbage truck rolls up to the club, they hop out, and walk right in like they own the place
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
I left my red butterfly dildo laying on my bedroom floor this morning....my landlord is currently showing the house to people. Fuck can't ever face him again.
just bought safety googles to wear so he can cum on my face and not in my eye. SAFETY FIRST!
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
Randomize
