I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
My choices this week make me realize that I need to copyright the term "cock buffet"
you two started sword fighting with 3 ft tall spruce trees you pulled out of planters
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
Something's wrong. Everything's on fire. Unless it was like that before. Then everything's alright.
Apparently I told the girl smoking was terrible for her, and then requested it in my mouth.
C'mon. I'm still an alcoholic at heart, regardless of its broken or not
He is what would appear if the douche troop all had rings and we summoned someone like the Captain Planet kids.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
he fell asleep naked and all I'm doing is staring at his weird balls
That’s true love. If they recognize a chocolate mold of your anus.
Everyone needs to leave the house so I can use the good vibrator without being judged.
Saw my doctor at the bar. He bought me a drink. I think he was looking up my medical record on his phone because he suddenly had to go. syphilis continues to fuck with my life
Randomize
