if I'm ever single again, I swear to god I'm going to have 87 venerial diseases
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
you just used "cock block" and "youth group" in the same sentence. somethings wrong with you.
"I could never have "feelings" for someone who, at one point, wanted to "hate fuck" my face."
FUCK YOU CALIFORNIA. YOU DO NOTHING RIGHT. FIRST PROP 8 AND NOW THIS.
Also, did that cop draw hearts on everyone's hands last night?
You can't be mad because the taco bell people like me and not you. I'm not the one that puked in front of them.
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
You should just construct a mini-city, actually. Then destroy, photograph and post. Who could turn down a dick that conquered a whole city? Craigslist personals wont know what hit it.
And they're not making a turkey. My cousin was "hoping to shoot a bird this week"
I understand why animals eat their young in the wild after watching your kid this afternoon
Dude I just clenched/unclenched my hindquarters while looking in the mirror I have fucking talent
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
While he was fucking me, he just stopped and said, "Mike says Hi." Then proceeded to fuck me.
What did you do?
What do you say to that!? But, when I came, I screamed out my full name.
They left me at home... I'm a liability
Randomize
