the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
my mother just offered to pay for my fake id.
Sometimes I get depressed that my son is too young to understand how hot his babysitter is.
It was like a fairy tale, until he tried to put it in my ass...
a man that wears gold spandex underwear and party boys other people is a man after my own heart.
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i think i left my bra at your place
It's still hanging from my ceiling fan. Please let me keep it there.
Either call me back or tell me you're in jail. For fucks sake. If this is a cop, just help out. national league.
Serious question...Is it possible to get a DUI on a kayak?
The bad news is tonight is also a blue moon, ergo, latin, I will have to get 'once in a blue moon' drunk which I feel is significantly more dangerous than IPO drunk
"You can go raw dog up in me". Exact words. I can't decide whether to run, or fuck. Help.
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
I spilt beer on the table, and she quickly got a straw and yelled party foul and made me drink it.
Trying not to ruin Mother's Day with the enormous hickey on my neck. Nice.
It was like a single vaginal boat in a sea of one eyed monsters
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