come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
so for future reference,at what point did you feel like a line had been crossed?
I'm so high I just tried to eat a hair tie thinking it was one of my pretzels.
No our divorce decree will not have a blow job clause. Unless my alimony is greatly increased your bj's have been reduced to fantasy status.....
He hasn't responded, but he probably just jizzed in his shorts again, so I'll give him time.
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
Saw a dude last night at a strip club's bar eating canned pineapple and giving tootsie pops to the girls...
I think my favorite day of the week is the day we get to fuck
I wore heels to a golf store in hopes of getting laid. I've hit a new all time low.
I had a sex dream about Fox Mulder, and the Royals just won the World Series. My life is complete.
It's very rude to dive mouth-first into someone's crotch without knowing if their wife is cool with it.
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Dad literally changed the channel from an episode of Big Bang Theory to another episode of Big Bang Theory. That's why I hate this show.
GOD I WOULD STAB DANNY IN THE EYE WITH HIS OWN PENIS
.........That big, huh?
No. I would cut it off
Randomize
