So the last day on the vacation I woke up in the bath tub. My mom said she asked me during the night what I was doing and I said, "swimming."
Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
The duggars are the reason premarital sex is ok. Because if you don't have it until marriage you have no self control when it happens. And 19 kids.
today is monday, i feel like we should do something illegal
fell asleep with the bong in the pool, weirdest tan line ever
like a sex slave...but with a better dental insurance plan
I'm in class. I'm not opening a page with the words "death erection" in the link. There's people behind me lol.
I should start wearing my Batman shirt more often when I drink. Good things happen. All sorts of shit.
I HAVE to find her. I've got a pretty decent pic of her footprint on my headboard. Wonder if I can get one of the podiatry majors to help?
To drink from my fkask next to a cop car or to not drink from my flask next to a cop car
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
Did I really make a PSA to that garage party that you wanted to bang him?
You gave a whole fucking speech. It was inspiring.
WHAT IF I SAT OUTSIDE AND STARTED SCREAMING THE LYRICS TO O CANADA WOULD THAT FIX IT
PLEASE DON'T
I literally JUST MADE IT to the liquor store. I bought a box of wine with the lights off
I just dominated some guy while wearing your moms thong
Randomize
