Just joined the godiva rewards club. Who's the fat friend now.
Yea...but the guy who is beating me has a ponytail. So actually, I'm the winner here.
Look I'm sorry I shaved your cat, but get over it.
That's cool, I just have to let the dogs out AND SO HELP ME GOD IF YOU TEXT ME BAHA MEN LYRICS WE ARE NOT FRIENDS.
I had a guy present me his prison release form this morning as id
just peed on the 7/11 floor and casually left. Omg so drunk
He said that he didn't know what level the sun was on, and then he puked.
We're doing it in the traditional way of discussing why we dislike each other while sharing a bowl. Just like the natives do.
His dick is as big as my 7" heels... Awkwardness is forgotten.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I don't care if it's 2 inches or 20 I mean dick is dick
Death by dick. An honorable death. Put a picture of his dick in the photo collage at my funeral.
low point of the night : a cop just busted out laughing at me.
So. Um. Hypothetically speaking...how would one get a squirrel out of the house?
Randomize
