The 3 of us think it's time to start drinking.
3?
Me, myself and I
then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
either my laughing turned him on, or he wanted to shut me up. either way, i dont care. it was amazing.
I couldn't accept the bj. My penis has done nothing wrong and didn't deserve the punishment of her face.
I guess since this is supposed to be my year of the lesbian it's okay
You left your underwear on the fireplace
ttyl tear gas
Can you tell me how this chicken finger got in my pillow case?
I couldn't get past the raccoon on my porch so i slept on my lawn.
I'm going to try to be reasonable tonight and keep my drink count out of double digits
she was literally 3 feet away from the garbage can, said she couldn't make it, and then proceeded to vomit on the floor in front of everyone in the restaurant
He should know he can't successfully wrestle in pudding fully clothed. Amateur.
I swear, the cow we tried to tip tried to eat me. and all I could think was, oh how the tables have turned. worst trip ever
He played me Kanye.. Speaking my love language.. He got a well deserved BJ
The part where he comes over and ignores you isn't what makes me mad about that story... It's the fact that he ate your tacos, AND THEN proceeded to ignore you. That's cold hearted.
Randomize
