One of my boys faked an orgasm while fucking a girl tonite, w/ out wearing a condom mind you.
She caught him, and immediately put her clothes on and left.
Who wears a wallet chain?!
She says ass holes are for stuffing, the verb, not stuffing, the noun.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
She said "I only hook up with guys I'm dating"
So... What happend then?
We dated for an hour, i broke up with her after. BOOM.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
you should have seen his reaction to my boobs, it was like he just met god
It's so cute when the exchange student uses "blowjob" as a verb.
i found him! he's on the front porch using a bag of potting soil as a pillow. i forgot i left him there.
I've given up for the day already. I just wanna eat cheesecake and hide from her.
He is crying over the toilet and his friends just came in and tried to make him take another jello shot.
She makes margaritas with lemon-lime 5 hour energy..thats brilliant
and you were wondering how she got into Harvard
My ex husband is now my side piece. #thisis30
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
so how about you dont randomly call my mother during parties?
Randomize
