The bar is filled with bros right now. Sucks I had to pay $5 to find that out.
is it bad if i hope guys are like edward cullen and can read my mind. i could be a whore in disguise.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
How long after st. Patrick's day is it ok to shit green before I should seek medicial attention?
Omg I'm so stupid. All the peoples fb status that said "spain" I thought they were all going to spain.......
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
On the couch having a debate with the dog over whether eating anothr sweet roll will make the hangover better or worse
PS- I just ordered a two man zebra costume. Would you like to be my back end?
And I just realized we will be at a strip club when the end of the world is supposed to happen. This is destiny
I told him he was like my favorite pair of jeans; I may not wear them every day, but I'll never get rid of them and they make my ass look fantastic. Needless to say he was not thrilled.
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
I didn't mean that as an expression. I'm literally asking if you want to watch Netflix and do nothing.
Randomize
