That Joe Wilson reference just earned you a blow job, Mister!
she actually told me to ignore the cokeheads in the corner with knives.
I don't have the urge to be a home-wrecker with these two. I think I've grown, don't you?
I just noticed that my shirt smells like coffee after eating out a Barista
im honestly more upset that i fucked a buckeyes fan than about cheating on my boyfriend...
I traded my shirt for vodka. I wonder if my parents can pinpoint where they went wrong raising me.
Johns diaper came in the mail. He's freaking out thinking there's some conspiracy going on since he sharted on the drive home from st. Louis
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
I feel like I'm eight miles away and my brain is just now getting here. You got a lot of fucking catching up to do.
Now I can't say for certain but I'm 90 percent are I bathed myself with dog shampoo last night
I've made a single handle of rum last like three weeks and my mom hasn't even acknowledged it.
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
I actually talked to his parents last night about it. haha. I had a bottle of smirnoff in my hand, I'm sure they took me serious.
Last night we proved the theory that "harder" is the worst rough sex safe-word ever.
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