so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
the whole time he was cumming, he did the joey lawrence WHOA. over and over. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA. WHOA.
How am I still drunk? Whoever said breakfast is the most important meal obviously didn't skip dinner and go drinking.
I am in the hospital with a broken wrist because a guy told me that if I punched him it "wouldn't hurt." it hurt. me. Thank you 11 jello shots.
He stole her cigarettes and walked 15 miles just so he wouldn't have to wake up next to her. God I love being a lesbian.
I can't decide if the sex was so good I couldn't move, or if it was me being loaded on all the morphine that they shot me up with at the ER.
Today is leap day..... If that's not an excuse to blackout all day I don't know what is
Halloween night fail: My boob sweat from keeping my phone in my bra caused the front screen to stop working from water damage.
He woke me up at 3 am, turned me on, then changed his mind. There is no way he is getting out of twilight now.
Also, my aunt grabbed my phone and downloaded the scriptures. Apparently I need Jesus.
The only flat surface we had was a cheez it box so we snorted the blow off of that. Rock bottom really isn't that bad.
Just please don't close your legs while I'm down there again. I don't want my death to be labeled as "Head crushed while giving an individual cunnilingus".
Remember I am not doing blow tonight. I REPEATE NO COCAINE unless I do it with your mom
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
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