Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i just ordered a pitcher of margaritas for me and a friend but she called and canceled. oh well, looks like im getting trashed alone.
the waiter who hardly speaks english told me "i go get your medicine now"
this medicine is soooo good.
apparently i'm not the first person wake up and realize she's ugly cuz i tore this house apart and there is no sign of my clothes
Please stop trying to convince people that you're retarded and I suck your dick in the same conversation.
the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
I'm getting drunk watching the disney channel. Is this a main reason why we aren't together anymore?
I wish there was a facebook app that filtered my notifications to show only the ones having to do with people who'll fuck me.
The only dream I remember having is one where my dad's sperm turned into baby hippos. Like, tiny baby hippos, pocket-sized. I am so fucked up.
He's the second guy this morning whose job is jeopardized because of my vagina.
HURRY. I NEED DRUNK. MORE DRUNK.
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
He gave me a script of norcos and touched my balls so overall it's been a good day.
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
Hey, I'm sleeping in your car...lol just knock on the window in the morning
Randomize
