Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
You're so nebulous sometimes
tonight lets celebrate not being married
The only reason we got away with streaking last time was cuz we had those miner hats
I think ur a lot drunker then u think u are. That girl has the body of a cartoon character and not in a good way.
WHO THE FUCK TAGS THEMSELVES AT COUNTY JAIL?!?!
So...guess who had sex tied to the ladder of a caboose under the stars in Joshua Tree? This bitch
I want to get "Patrick Kane" wasted tonight
I am one hundred percent down for that
It was big, black, and had a smiley face tattooed on it. It was the perfect penis.
They won't let me buy alcohol in the airport until 9am. Super judgemental
Who loses their virginity to fucking Flo Rida
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
When your grandma invites you to a sweet girls' Valentine's dinner with your mom and sister, but you have to decline because you're trying to get two dudes to rail you at once...
I told him. He hasn't said anything. Crying and holding cats is probably what is happening.
Is it too much to ask to have a life partner who has both male and female sex organs that looks cute and sounds like a female Antonio Banderas and likes to get weird?
Randomize
