Just barfed in my hand. Needless to say, this day is off to a great start
The guy at the liquor store just checked my id and said "oh it's you"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
You tried to tip the paramedic for finding you.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
I just fell down the stairs in the library and further deviated my septum. That's why I don't study.
I found out that my first kiss was an Italian. Even in kindergarden i knew size mattered.
I'd feel sorry for him and his injury but it's an inconvenience for my vagina
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
A guy in a gorilla mask got blown on the lawn. And then the night got weird.
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
a victory without nudity is not really a victory
Randomize
