Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
what made you think it was a good idea to trust the girl that hides tequila in her backpack?
Yeudjkisdjxbfceryuj. i love having a qwerty keyboard just so i can do that.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
you tipped EVERY employee at white castle
promise me that when we are 32, we will look nothing like Kim Zolciak. Promise me right this instant.
Woke up in a kilt. And it's not my kilt. Drinking was a success.
I would be the drunk girl eating cake on the front steps alone.
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Also did I tell you guys about the time that I balled for like an hour at a frat and made them play wagon wheel and then cleaned their bathroom
WELL I DIDNT KNOW IT WAS POSSIBLE TO COME SO HARD YOU HAVE AN ASTHMA ATTACK BUT HERE I AM
someone commented on last weekends photos impressed that so many homeless people wanted to take pictures with us. weird that those "homeless people" are our friends... right?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
