Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
Brickbreaker makes my post drinking poops that much better. Sorry, I had to tell someone who might agree.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
You stole her cigarette screaming that you were going to stop the air cancer from getting everyone.
at least i was looking out for everybody
can you buy anything in the cafeteria for less than $2? I spent the last of my laundry money on a chia pet
Just got done reading an 11 page essay for class. Took me three fucking days and the only thing I have highlighted is the name "Alexander Cockburn"
we bribed her with croutons and jello shots.
This is a great bar, except you can't even randomly burst into song without them assuming you're drunk and cutting you off.
Hooked up with a guy solely because he had a chameleon. Priorities.
The squirrels are partying on my roof again. Now they're just rubbing it in that I'm home alone on a Saturday night and they're having orgies.
Our conversation concluded a weekly schedule of casual sex in between classes.
I have no idea why my husband is mad that I came home at 4 am & all I want to do is eat spaghettios. It's not fucking spaghettios fault.
Remember the time you puked your contact lens out?
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
Randomize
