I don't care how bad it tastes, i just put it in my mouth and deal with it
according to the woman who took my blood today, i have "party veins"
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
So after I was tied with a feather boa he left me there with KFC and cherry coke
My roommate made me a peanut butter and sprinkles sandwich. Maybe tonight isn't that bad
Why did my little sister call me from your phone this morning?
Things like this can't be explained over text man
Juss got out of jail; shes still in there tryin to sing her abc's backwards bc the cops neva asked her too... Whebever she gets to t she starts singin the tequilla song
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
I'm not sure we can use safewords tho. She smokes so much she had to keep asking what the safewords was. Bondage and bongs don't mix
When I go out tonight I need to make sure to be really good. The Easter bunny doesn't deliver to jail
Well, I guess you are not meant to have this fucking picture of an adorable baby duck.
Where does dick fit into Maslow's hierarchy of needs?
What type of bandaid should I use on my clit
Come home... I’m drinking and playing with knives
By the time we got to McDonald's you were sharing a Big Mac with a stripper.
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