Just checked, might have creepy crawlies. What does chlamydia feel like? Not near wireless to consult webMD.
So I just passed a billboard for "Risque Cafe: Good food and topless women". Fuck. I love SC.
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
I'm cheering for the colts this year. I basically have to since my fake says i'm from indianapolis
You came on your own forehead. Just wanted to remind you that.
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
I've spent more money on drugs for bonnaroo than my actual ticket. Proudly.
i dont know what was worse.. snorting the wasabi or puking on the neighbors dog
Well I almost walked away with an Irish guy's boarding pass and some south guy's dignity
he told me he didn't know whether he was gonna puke, pass out, or cum. i don't know if i should be flattered or offended.
it's like my freshman wet dream come true
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
Got drunk in Atlantic City Flagged down some guy with two wrapped tampons like road flares for a cigarette.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
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